.. and the bitch is baack .. agaiiin (:
lols . mm hmm . back to blogg until i get lazy agaiin :D
ohwels . i can`t say i`ve done much at all for de past . um .. 4 months ? heree in aussie i mean .
went out a few times , yes , a FEW times . it`s so goddamn boring here .
wel i guess it`s a good thingg ... since what MY mum wants is for me to get my ass here , hopefulli meet betta ppl , do well in my studies like how SHE did , n make her life easier .
gah . it`s back .. again . the complaints and the rants and the shittiness and the bitchiness and the spoilt side of me having NOTHING to think abt but how i`m so miserable here .
maybe it`s not onli here . to think it over , i think i`d hate it jus as much in malaysia . ya think ?
...
naaaaah . IF i was dere . at LEAST i`d stil hav frens .
hereee . i tink the closest i can trust wud b .. mum .
not like i would WANT to go to her anyway . she`d jus giv me de same ol lecture . wel abt being here of course . i wouldn`t wanna go to her abt other stuff -___- no , no , no .
it`s gettin so annoying , i can`t stand it .
why do i get frustrated with any small minor stupid thing at one moment , and in another , act like everythin`s goiin fine ?
i don`t fuckin understand myself .
who would , if I can`t ?
seems like evrytime i`m here to post abt somethin . it`s abt how terrible my life is .
oh what a drama queen i am .
pfttss . i don`t hate my life THAT much . i jus wish it was a little better .
so lets see . i`ve been doiin nothing but reading blogs . and i`ve come across like , at least 3 or 4 blogs where dey talk abt de difference of wanting somethin . or needing somethng .
lols . i hate to admit it . but i use need for all de wrong reasons .
` i NEED dat bag . `
` i NEED money . i`m dying here . it`s been .. zonks since i`ve been shoppin . i NOE , how sad is dat ? `
` i NEED someone . wel i kinda jus need . him .` wel i don`t exactly need him . but stilll .
but yeaaah . i`m just never satisfied with what i hav . i always want more .
i always want to change SOMETHING .
what the fuck , nicole . you`re so fucking spoilt . ugh .
it sickens me sometimes . what am i gonna do wen i grow up ? =S
i can`t control myself . i wish i cud . i`d change myself . i mean , sure it`s nice gettin wat i want wen i want it . but it jus makes me want more , and more , and more . what`s de point wen i never feel content with what i hav in de end ? i`l onli end up being disatisfied .
wen i seek advice , they tell me i can onli change wen I want to . no one else can change me .
i WANT to . but something`s stoppin me .
lols . wonder what it is .. i don`t even noe myself . cibaaii . pfahs .
ohwels . i`l jus leave dat at dat . until i figure out what to do . but anyone`s welcome to comment to giv me some ideaa of what to do lah . heehaa . lolss .
sooo . abt my day . i noe it`s not exactly necessary to talk abt my day .
but if i continue talkin abt whatever comes to mind . it`d be complaints of how terrible my life is :P heh .
i skipped skool .. again . i tink being here has got me cursed . reaalli .
i`ve jus been . sick , sick , sick . everytime i end up with something new .
not a bad thing i guess . i get to skip skoool :D
haaah . but yeah . it`s never nice .. being sick .
but anyhooos . yay i onli hav to go for TWO days of skool dis weekk .
so i got up today . thinkin i`d b better . dragged myself to de bathroom .
do the stuff i need ta do . crawled back to my room . and .. do the stuff i need ta do :D
n dats wen . ouuuuch * the stomach ache came bacckk ):
it was soo bad i tel you . i`ve never felt so much pain for so long . wel meanng . b4 it started on monday lah .
mum didn`t realli `believe` me . cuz .. dunno lah . she stil wanted me to go to skool . fine laahh . i was all ready ANYWAY . so i jus sat on my bed . dying of pain =\
den she decided she`d let me sleep for awhile n jus send me to skool late .
it wasn`t doing much lying in bed dying of pain . but ahwel . better den walkin around de bloody skool , gettin to class n listen to teachers yapyapyap , die of pain .. in a CHAIR . so yeah .
bed ; better . teehee . oh look . i kinda , sorta , like looked on de bright side of somethin :P
wrong situation i tink . but oooowels . it`s a start (:
9.30 am . mum barges into my room , asks me whether i can go to skool .
i didn`t noe wat to say . :O
it`d b tooo obvious if i said i couldn`t dat i didn`t want to . so i jus kept quiet ..
* silence *
or you want me to bring you to a doctor ?
okieokie . i think i might hav gastric * pityful face * haha .
i kinda , sorta thought i did ... but what do i noe :P
so she made an appointment for 12 . whee . i went to sleep hoping i wouldn`t feel much paiin anymore . i did fall asleeep ... but de pain was stil dere wen i woke up at 11 . 30
went to de doctor . yadayadayada . got my stomach .. molested . lols .
okay wrong word .
went to get some medication at de pharmacy .
de tablets are SO small ! i was haappie .
despite learning how to swallow already , recently . i still don`t like the idea of somethin . jus something . not chewed / munched going down my throat . i mean . what if i choke and die ? :S
it`d b de worse way to die weii . wel apart frm de gory shyte la but yeaaah .
and yeaap . i`ve onli learned how to swallow tablets like . since i came here .
for de past . 14 years i`ve never swallowed any tablets before . um . never succeeded lar .
wel it was mostly cuz i never realli had any reason to swallow tablets .
i was never sickk ! for wel , most of my life . wen young n all we stil got it syrup or liquified .
stupid tablets . cudn`t dey jus make it into syrup .
i had to make it myself . SO bad . imagine smashin up 2 miserable panadols with de stone thingy ur mum uses to tumbuk stuff in de kitchen . mm hmm . den putting it in a spooon . n den putting some sorta concentrated cordial or honey to TRY take away de bitterness . but obviously , de bitterness is stil dere la . jus makess it a tad bit better .
but aanyways . yeah . since i came here . i`ve got headaches like . almost everydayy .
frm never having ANY headaches at all in malaysia . to headaches everyday HERE .
like how fucking weird is that ? lols .
i`m actualli gettin used to having headaches . i don`t bother to do anythin abt it . i jus tahan de pain . hah . oo . superr nicole ! okay i`m sorry . lame .. goodness . lame ppl hav been gettin to me man . i shud sue de lame ppl for putting lame thoughts in my head . psh .
and dennn . i came home . had lunch . took de tiny tiny tablets . n lazed on de couch reading blogs . omg . some ppl are so funny . i was actualli laughin to myself reading people`s blogs . xD
and yeah . dat was pretty much all i did today . de medication seems to b workinn .
but onli for a few hours . ohwels
skoool tomorrow . arghh ..
fuck de world man . lols
blaahs . til den ( :
mwa *
, niic -
ohwels . i can`t say i`ve done much at all for de past . um .. 4 months ? heree in aussie i mean .
went out a few times , yes , a FEW times . it`s so goddamn boring here .
wel i guess it`s a good thingg ... since what MY mum wants is for me to get my ass here , hopefulli meet betta ppl , do well in my studies like how SHE did , n make her life easier .
gah . it`s back .. again . the complaints and the rants and the shittiness and the bitchiness and the spoilt side of me having NOTHING to think abt but how i`m so miserable here .
maybe it`s not onli here . to think it over , i think i`d hate it jus as much in malaysia . ya think ?
...
naaaaah . IF i was dere . at LEAST i`d stil hav frens .
hereee . i tink the closest i can trust wud b .. mum .
not like i would WANT to go to her anyway . she`d jus giv me de same ol lecture . wel abt being here of course . i wouldn`t wanna go to her abt other stuff -___- no , no , no .
it`s gettin so annoying , i can`t stand it .
why do i get frustrated with any small minor stupid thing at one moment , and in another , act like everythin`s goiin fine ?
i don`t fuckin understand myself .
who would , if I can`t ?
seems like evrytime i`m here to post abt somethin . it`s abt how terrible my life is .
oh what a drama queen i am .
pfttss . i don`t hate my life THAT much . i jus wish it was a little better .
so lets see . i`ve been doiin nothing but reading blogs . and i`ve come across like , at least 3 or 4 blogs where dey talk abt de difference of wanting somethin . or needing somethng .
lols . i hate to admit it . but i use need for all de wrong reasons .
` i NEED dat bag . `
` i NEED money . i`m dying here . it`s been .. zonks since i`ve been shoppin . i NOE , how sad is dat ? `
` i NEED someone . wel i kinda jus need . him .` wel i don`t exactly need him . but stilll .
but yeaaah . i`m just never satisfied with what i hav . i always want more .
i always want to change SOMETHING .
what the fuck , nicole . you`re so fucking spoilt . ugh .
it sickens me sometimes . what am i gonna do wen i grow up ? =S
i can`t control myself . i wish i cud . i`d change myself . i mean , sure it`s nice gettin wat i want wen i want it . but it jus makes me want more , and more , and more . what`s de point wen i never feel content with what i hav in de end ? i`l onli end up being disatisfied .
wen i seek advice , they tell me i can onli change wen I want to . no one else can change me .
i WANT to . but something`s stoppin me .
lols . wonder what it is .. i don`t even noe myself . cibaaii . pfahs .
ohwels . i`l jus leave dat at dat . until i figure out what to do . but anyone`s welcome to comment to giv me some ideaa of what to do lah . heehaa . lolss .
sooo . abt my day . i noe it`s not exactly necessary to talk abt my day .
but if i continue talkin abt whatever comes to mind . it`d be complaints of how terrible my life is :P heh .
i skipped skool .. again . i tink being here has got me cursed . reaalli .
i`ve jus been . sick , sick , sick . everytime i end up with something new .
not a bad thing i guess . i get to skip skoool :D
haaah . but yeah . it`s never nice .. being sick .
but anyhooos . yay i onli hav to go for TWO days of skool dis weekk .
so i got up today . thinkin i`d b better . dragged myself to de bathroom .
do the stuff i need ta do . crawled back to my room . and .. do the stuff i need ta do :D
n dats wen . ouuuuch * the stomach ache came bacckk ):
it was soo bad i tel you . i`ve never felt so much pain for so long . wel meanng . b4 it started on monday lah .
mum didn`t realli `believe` me . cuz .. dunno lah . she stil wanted me to go to skool . fine laahh . i was all ready ANYWAY . so i jus sat on my bed . dying of pain =\
den she decided she`d let me sleep for awhile n jus send me to skool late .
it wasn`t doing much lying in bed dying of pain . but ahwel . better den walkin around de bloody skool , gettin to class n listen to teachers yapyapyap , die of pain .. in a CHAIR . so yeah .
bed ; better . teehee . oh look . i kinda , sorta , like looked on de bright side of somethin :P
wrong situation i tink . but oooowels . it`s a start (:
9.30 am . mum barges into my room , asks me whether i can go to skool .
i didn`t noe wat to say . :O
it`d b tooo obvious if i said i couldn`t dat i didn`t want to . so i jus kept quiet ..
* silence *
or you want me to bring you to a doctor ?
okieokie . i think i might hav gastric * pityful face * haha .
i kinda , sorta thought i did ... but what do i noe :P
so she made an appointment for 12 . whee . i went to sleep hoping i wouldn`t feel much paiin anymore . i did fall asleeep ... but de pain was stil dere wen i woke up at 11 . 30
went to de doctor . yadayadayada . got my stomach .. molested . lols .
okay wrong word .
went to get some medication at de pharmacy .
de tablets are SO small ! i was haappie .
despite learning how to swallow already , recently . i still don`t like the idea of somethin . jus something . not chewed / munched going down my throat . i mean . what if i choke and die ? :S
it`d b de worse way to die weii . wel apart frm de gory shyte la but yeaaah .
and yeaap . i`ve onli learned how to swallow tablets like . since i came here .
for de past . 14 years i`ve never swallowed any tablets before . um . never succeeded lar .
wel it was mostly cuz i never realli had any reason to swallow tablets .
i was never sickk ! for wel , most of my life . wen young n all we stil got it syrup or liquified .
stupid tablets . cudn`t dey jus make it into syrup .
i had to make it myself . SO bad . imagine smashin up 2 miserable panadols with de stone thingy ur mum uses to tumbuk stuff in de kitchen . mm hmm . den putting it in a spooon . n den putting some sorta concentrated cordial or honey to TRY take away de bitterness . but obviously , de bitterness is stil dere la . jus makess it a tad bit better .
but aanyways . yeah . since i came here . i`ve got headaches like . almost everydayy .
frm never having ANY headaches at all in malaysia . to headaches everyday HERE .
like how fucking weird is that ? lols .
i`m actualli gettin used to having headaches . i don`t bother to do anythin abt it . i jus tahan de pain . hah . oo . superr nicole ! okay i`m sorry . lame .. goodness . lame ppl hav been gettin to me man . i shud sue de lame ppl for putting lame thoughts in my head . psh .
and dennn . i came home . had lunch . took de tiny tiny tablets . n lazed on de couch reading blogs . omg . some ppl are so funny . i was actualli laughin to myself reading people`s blogs . xD
and yeah . dat was pretty much all i did today . de medication seems to b workinn .
but onli for a few hours . ohwels
skoool tomorrow . arghh ..
fuck de world man . lols
blaahs . til den ( :
mwa *
, niic -
posted by niicole * at 22:55
1 Comments:
heelooness .
finally updated eh ? :P
and nolahh .
changing things , or wanting something else doesnt mean you`re spoilt .
your just not satisfied with what u have . and u feel like theres something better and u want it .
everyone wants things that are the best . but sometimes we jst hafta
it`ll take time before anyone can change . as you say , somethings stopping you . so once that goes away .. you can .
and alahh . stomach aches again ? :(
aren`t the meds helping ?
blearghh . i hate syruppy meds .
i prefer pills wei :p
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